Proof that fathers are radically unamusing.

The smug dad in that Hair for men advert can fuck off...

Hopefully those ties he's banging on about will be used to moor his absolute barge of a daughter to a radiator when he sets the house on fire. Any spare ties he could use to fashion a noose to hang himself with.

*I would suggest using this tie, just to inject some humour in to the situation*

Owl Murray

Making jokes about the Euro is not funny.

St. Twatrick's day

Happy St. Patrick's day everybody...

I'm going to celebrate by wearing one of those daft Guiness hats.

I will also claim to be half Irish. That always seemed like the in thing to do at school.

Yeah... universities are actually full of idiots

 

Pub golf can fuck off...

Running around endless shitty pubs dressed up like a div, downing rank concoctions whilst standing on one leg just because you want to fit in with a load of smug student bellends.

I can think of far better things to do, like walking around on all fours in a prison...

With my arse hanging out.

Nestle announce cluster add-on packs

Have you noticed how Nestle have scandalously removed nearly all the nuts from it's cereal brand Clusters?

Having said that, they still have the brass to display a tempting bowl of Clusters on the front of the box with a bran flake to nut ratio of at least 15:1. In reality this figure is somewhere around 75:1.

Then Nestle have the further pomposity to write 'Serving Suggestion' next to the photo... Presumably that suggestion being to pour a bowl out, then spent 5 minutes sifting through the box gathering up all the nuts you can find to turn what is essentially a bowl of Bran Flakes into a bowl of clusters.

Cunts.

Ashes to arses

Dropping fag ash on the car seat between your legs... The single most annoying thing that can happen to you whilst driving.

Robot Mugabe

Rob... not on really is it mate.